Am I too late

Now I don't know. . .
Was I wrong?
Are these reservoir feelings
or was it real all along?
I miss your eyes,
the feel of your skin.
His smell's not you,
his smiles not yours.
Was I wrong?
Was I ready?
Am I too late?
Are you gone?

The funniest break up ever!!

Have you ever been broken up with by someone you were never serious with? Isn't it funny how people infer different things are going on? Communication people!! Stop inferring and start communicating. Trust me, it keeps you from looking like an ass in the long run :)

Last night a guy I've been out with a handful of times came over to my place. We were having a general conversation and I happen to notice he's got "serious face" on. I ask "Why so sad?" his reply. . . "There's something I need to tell you"

Now stop right there - any girl who has had these 7 words spoken to her knows what was running through my head *enter worse case scenario here*

I got, "I really think your more into this than I am." Shut the front door kid! You must be smoking the good weed, cause this one has been dating two other guys at the same time and has YET to start harboring the relationship feelings for any of you.

So I let him finish about how he's not falling in love with me, even though I'm such a great person and good kisser (very talented ;)) But I had to stop him before I started laughing and tell him the truth. . . "Not sure where you got these ideas from Hun, but this is just some casual fun for me!"

Wow!!! How awkward right?!? Not to mention, in the middle of all this he said we can still be friends, even friends with benefits!! So funny.
He did stay for about an hour longer, no not to solidify the "benefits" part of our new friendship but just talking.
After he left I couldn't help but think, "Wow this sucks, I just got broken up with before I was even a part of something to break!"

Anyone else been in on a relationship that wasn't. I just think I have to figure out what signals I'm sending out that make people think I'm sprung over them. . .

Making 2010 My "I DID IT" year.

I was reading an article last night, about the power of positive affirmation.
This article talked about not making "resolutions" but promises to yourself, and when the motivation is lacking giving yourself a pep talk and a positive affirmation.
I've never been one for self help books, or the power of positive, but this article really hit me. After all, it is all about me. I make my decisions, I live my life, and the only person who is really affected if I fail is me. So why not make myself proud. Give myself a leg up and fulfill the promises I make to myself.

So I am making 2010 my "I did it!" year. Im going to do more things for myself. Treat my body better, i.e. losing the weight I got being complacent. Treat my mind better by going back to school and working hard, reading more and TV/Movies less. Treat my pocketbook better, no more splurging on things I don't need, and TRYING to get some savings back. Treat my friends better, by being there when they need, being supportive and opening up to new experiences and people. NO MORE EXCUSES to keep to myself.

This is my I did it year. Wish me luck!

Learning

It's hard to learn that sometimes we're not as strong as we pretend;
That the psyche is easily broken, hearts and hopes crushed to easy.

Its hard to learn that forgiveness, however admirable, is really just
a second chance to break your spirit, and love is just figment of the
imagination.

Its hard learning your not what you always had planned;
that life doesn't follow a blueprint, that dreams are simply that,
and life is really only about living.