Friday, February 15, 2013
Starting Over - lets try this again
Hey all - its been about two years since you have heard from me. I got quiet, I know, but the truth is I got depressed. This isn't something I ever though would happen to me, and it took me a very long time to figure out what was going on. First it was just frustration. Being irritated too often with the little things. Then came the break ups, and friends moving away. Friends getting married and life just moving in too many directions to handle. The straw that broke it was the big ol C. My favorite person in the world got cancer. I imploded. I tried to hold it together the best I could but people starting seeing a whole new me. A me, I didn't realize existed and one that really shouldn't. So then came a trip to the Dr. for some other problems, and she asked the right questions. The ones you never want to admit because you don't want to feel weak. I was defeated and she could tell. In the twenty minute exam, she knew I was done and finally ready to ask for help.
That was three months ago, four months after moms diagnosis, and 18 months after my original breaking point.
I'm feeling better today, with medications help of course. I don't cry as much. I get out of bed and put clothes on like a normal human being. I smile, and I listen to music again (you wouldn't believe the things you start to care less about when depression takes over) Now the big thing is regaining my life. One day at a time I'm trying, but I also need to remember who I was before all of this. So I'm going to start writing again. Whether its my short poetry or just answers to questions from my jar, I'm going to start. One rant/post/thought a day.
Let me know what you would like to know about me. Or just ask me how I'm feeling. I have to start being honest about this, at least that's what the good doctor said. So here, in the land of anonymity I'm going to open up and share with you who I once was, am, and who I want to be.
Kristalynn
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2 comments:
Hooray! Glad to see you start writing again.
You asked for questions - Who do you want to be? Realistic please. None of us will ever be the supermodel we all dreamed of.
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